Today was a hard day.
I skipped meditation this morning, opting for the extra hour sleep in before heading for tea and Hatha class. After Hatha we had Pranayama. We used a cleansing technique that directly worked on clearing the front cortex of the brain, the area of my accident. As it started to unblock the energy stored there, it bring tears and snot and all of those delicious things. Our guru picked out 4 people from the class who essentially couldn’t breathe properly and had us diagnose them. Once it clicked and they had the breathing thing down pat, they could return to their seat. In the end, Nelly, a girl from South Africa was left. She was laying in front of the guru on the floor trying all she could to breath into his hand on her stomach, but she couldn’t do it. This went on for what felt like hours. It was torture to watch this human unable to breathe in front of us and not be able to do anything. As the room cleared out at the end of class, I took a moment to process the last hour and massage out my tension – the nerves in my face still very raw. One of the young hotel staff walked in and was shocked to see me upset and I did what I could to convince him I’m fine, but ended up telling him all about my accident.
Only 10 minutes later, almost like it was symbolic, out of nowhere a beautiful brightly coloured baby bird falls out of the sky. It was alive but in shock, trying all it could to breath. Mouth wide. Panting. It had flown straight into a window. I jumped right in and found it a nice little dark pot to rest in and some water. Poor baby bird hit its head really hard! I left it with the hotel staff to keep it safe from the cat that roams around the hotel and head to anatomy. By this stage my headache and general fogginess is atrocious. I want coffee. So bad. I sit through anatomy class almost as if I am floating above my body which is falling asleep. Our teacher Kelly looks at me: “you’re worried about the bird, aren’t you?” Where on earth am I?! I can’t seem to wake up in my body, so I take 10 minutes after class to stand on my head hoping some oxygen will do the trick.
Soon after, I headed downstairs to do yet another ATM run. Every day I have been trying to no avail. The young man I had been speaking with upstairs was on the desk and feeling sorry for me, made it his personal mission to help me get my money out. On the back of the bike I jump. Déjà vu.
As we wind down the streets doing the standard cow dodging act, he tells me all about his own head injury and how long it took him to recover. He then gets me to the ATM, and hallelujah, it works! I have cash and can start paying back my debts all over town. As he tells me that whatever I need, just see him and he will sort everything out, don’t worry. I start leaking tears out all over the back of him. Wow, the people here are something else.
Aaaand I’m a mess.
I get back to the hotel and am exhausted and crash out for 20. I wake up and feel no better. The dark side decides to go all out and skip class this afternoon. I then immediately talk myself back into it. Dee hurts through the door and changes my mind in a second. She isn’t going to Astanga and she tells me just to listen to myself. Great advice. Instead, I’m going to take a shower and head out for a wander in Rishikesh. I haven’t had a chance to mosey about the street yet and I just need to get outside of my foggy head.
I head out for a wander and poke around the markets. I’ve been noticing a pull towards moonstone, and we have been talking about Moon energy a lot in class. My energy is out of whack since being here and moonstone is supposed to be a good balancer, so I find a handmade brass bracelet with two moonstone pieces embedded in it for a whopping $2 and decide to catch up with my Acro friend Mav. We spend a leisurely afternoon by the Ganges, feeling like I’ve known this soul forever. I’m so thankful for someone who gets my weirded out mood, and that we have comfort in silence.
Eventually I head back to the academy for dinner and stumble into a full blown Indian birthday party with Bollywood music, cake smashed all over faces and the most joyous dancing you could imagine. Not the end to meditation class you would expect!
My mood is still low, but I’m feeling more balanced and grateful for the afternoon off. The sensation around the injury in my head is still there but I do feel a bit clearer after the release and secretly hope for more of these moments, because its the only way to clear the stagnant energy.
Tomorrow is a new day. A new chapter.